What do we do when we believe the circumstances we encounter are not fitting or in alignment with what we deserve?
We may withdraw into darkness, lose faith, or question why bad things happen to good people.
In those times, we question what is fair or deserving. We operate as if there is a playbook as to how life “should” play out.
Yet, often there is much more to the University of Life than that we can see. As they say, you don’t know what you have yet to learn. Often our reality, the place from which we perceive, creates obstacles that block impartial observation.
Once we become aware of indifference in our lives, we can break free of the obstacles that helped to promote that indifference. We can observe the contrast within the scenarios in our lives and find what is in and not in alignment with our souls. When out of alignment, we can become responsive through corrective action. The contrast (discomfort) can actually propel us beyond reactionary indifference into the next level of life-learning.
There is one simple question that each new level begins with:
WHAT am I open to?
When we move away from the habitual pattern of assumption and just allow “what is” without qualification or a “right” or “wrong” label, we then become open to witnessing where the calamity occurred in our unfortunate experience.
Once we come to accept that the breakdowns in our lives occur for us and not to us, so that we can experience them, we then can shift the place from which we perceive. Blame towards the external (people, places, and things) keeps us out of relationship with ourselves. Nothing of substance is produced by blaming others. In fact, blame is neglect for self, as the energy comes from a stance of “wrongdoing” by another instead of doing for oneself. Blame does not foster forgiveness and self-acceptance. Instead, we make outside elements responsible for our condition.
The key here is to become bravely honest with oneself and the circumstances that (yes) we have co-created.
Accept the activity as simply activity. It is not a definition of your Being as a person good/bad, worthy/unworthy.
Move beyond the sphere of influence that causes us to want to justify the story with finger pointing.
Agreed that it is hard to hear, there is a direct correlation in your life between your behaviors and your life circumstances.
This correlation, in fact, opens the door for these events (even the ouches) to occur.
So do away with the need to qualify the condition of your circumstances.
Accept the lessons even when the correlations are (uncomfortable) difficult to stomach.
Once we can claim responsibility for the activity or behavior, we can make a conscious decision to sidestep the blame game.
This is where we become students rather than bystanders (or victims) as we watch life’s lessons unfold to show us where there is room for correction.
How did I create this event?
What did I do?
What could I have done?
What didn’t I do?
Inaction is an action—doing nothing is a decision to do something (e.g., avoid).
Buddhism says that complacency is dangerous, as we stop the forward action in our lives. Often, in complacency we seek confirmation of our prior beliefs or the stories we hold onto. It is here where we become disempowered or, worse, identified as victims. This can lead to self-deception. We can even go so far as to actively confirm “the story” by seeking agreement from others. When we dupe ourselves into believing “this scenario,” we hold onto and in fact impede the progression of the potential lesson.
Once we become brutally honest with self, we can watch the energy move. We can begin to see where there is resignation, an edge, or an unresolved agenda. We then can address what is in within by looking at what we are doing or not doing. We can come to terms with what we are afraid of and accept that we are part of the creation of events—even when the outcomes seem to be against us. Integrity is the act of coming face to face with what is out of alignment. Become courageous and open to the part of us that is selfish or self-serving. To stay in the game of life through correction is to continue on the course. Moving forward. This is where empowerment will occur.
Aspire to do things differently without knowing how. One guarantee is that you will fall backward. When that happens, move forward. Advance your step. Come to terms with the fact that the common denominator is always us. We take us wherever we go, so, my friend, we have it all.
Do good guys finish last or on top? I’d have to say the measure is in the strength of one’s determination to soar above the obstacles.